I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
