loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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