direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My life is pants optional.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize