Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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