The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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