so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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