I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
