I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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