Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
