I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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