He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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