I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
