Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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