my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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