my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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