Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize