I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My pussy is not your playground.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
