i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
