i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I love you. Go after that dick
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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