It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Life is so much better after having sex.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
