so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
