What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
