Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
