yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
