I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
