Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize