i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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