is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
