At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize