so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize