The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
