I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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