We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
