I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
