Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
