I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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