No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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