Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I party with great urgency now.
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