I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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