The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
