so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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