dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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