I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
