I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
