I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
