You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
this is an emotional support booty call
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
