Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
