So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
