as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
