Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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