He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
