please come you make the beer taste better
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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