Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
