TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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