I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize