He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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