My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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