Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
