Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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