Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
