oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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