is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
