ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
