i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
