You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
